Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

A Lancashire village mayor just got 2 years jail time for his “sexual kicks,” which include sneaking into bedrooms to steal and jerk off into ladies panties.
The God-Fearing 59-yr-old Mayor, Ian Stafford, gained entrance to the victim’s homes by doing work as a handyman.
Once he gained the keys, the single old fogie creeped into the sleeping ladies bedrooms, grabbed the panties, unzipped his own, and well…you know the rest.
He was caught when one homeowner noticed that many of her underpants had disappeared.

In court, the prosecution was quoted as saying, “To masturbate into a woman’s underwear and place it back in the drawer, repeatedly, as seen in the DVD, as you have done in other homes is bluntly revolting and the impact on your victims is high.”

no word on whether he has down syndrome or is just very, VERY British.

I would re-write this, but it is so epic I’ll just jack it directly from the Boston Herald.

Chelsea rabbit rapist convicted of cruelty
By Edward Mason
Friday, January 8, 2010 - Added 14h ago
Animal lovers be warned - this report is not for the squeamish.

Abel Aguirre, 38, of Chelsea was convicted yesterday of animal cruelty for having sex with his roommate’s rabbit, the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office said. He faces up to 2 years in the House of Correction and a $2,500 fine at sentencing today.

Aguirre assaulted the rabbit June 1, 2008, district attorney spokesman Jake Wark said. Aguirre’s roommate told investigators she came home and found blood and clumps of rabbit fur on the bathroom floor and a claw belonging to the bunny. In Aguirre’s room, she found a used condom with rabbit fur on it. The rabbit was injured and bleeding.

“My jaw hit the floor,” one juror said about the disturbing testimony. The rabbit has died, but not of its injuries, Wark said.