Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

[Not even gonna bother to rewrite this one...ganked directly from AP wire.]

MADISON, Wis. – The camera of a vacationing New Jersey family who posed for a picture in front of the Wisconsin State Capitol captured more than smiles. It also caught a thief in the act.

John Myers, of Bloomfield, N.J., set the self-timer on his camera and hustled into the frame with his wife and two children Saturday. While their backs were turned, someone grabbed their bag, which held Myers’ wallet and other items.

After Myers discovered the bag missing, he checked his camera. Sure enough, the image showed a man picking up the bag.

Myers told the Wisconsin State Journal that he showed the photo to officers, who recognized the man.

When officers found him, he was still carrying the bag.

The suspect pleaded not guilty Tuesday to misdemeanor theft.

Now I know nothing turns me on as much as a good breaking and entering. Seems like I’m not alone.

The neighbor was just doing a favor: bring in the mail each day while her next door neighbors were away. So she was obviously shocked to see to naked 30-somethings sprawled out on the floor.

The impromptu porn stars ran away, but they left a (stolen) camera there; identifying the would-be thieves at that point was easy as pie…the police deputies recognized the 39-year-old woman and 31-year-old man from previous interactions.

Home of Public Radio International, Lutherans, Prarie Home Companion and that weird fish paste, Minneapolis has paid a group even liberals would be hesitant to love - ZOMBIES.

The city arrested and jailed seven of undead during a “street theatre protest” that lasted two days. The zombies were in full garb: thickly painted white faces covered in fake blood, blackened eyes, zombie walking to an iPod as if they were in Say Anything. They were arrested for “simulating weapons of mass distruction,” yet the city failed to charge them with anything.

After the verdict the group is $165,000 richer. Hopefully they will give the money to charity, as their protest was against “mindless” consumerism. [ipods=mindful]

Ganked directly from the Star Trib: “I feel great that the city is being held accountable for the actions of their police,” said Raphi Rechitsky, 27, of Minneapolis, one of the seven zombies, who said he and his friends were performing street theater when they were arrested. He is a Ph.D. candidate in sociology at the University of Minnesota.

A German bank robber has been put behind bars after emailing police and newspapers to correct information in their reports.

That’s right, the 19-year-old used his own email to point out factual errors about his Roettingen heist.

According to daily Bild, the robber taunted police for mis-reporting his age, height and accent. He also pointed out that he escaped in a car, not on foot.

A few hours after sending the emails, the man was arrested in a gambling hall in Hamburg. “He was completely shocked,” the police spokesman said.

Things to note:
1. Prince Henry fell off his horse. This is funny, because Brits are tightwads.
2. Princess Beatrice looks like a PSYCHO.
3. The DAILY MAIL called New York the CAPITAL OF THE UNITED STATES. WRONG

We all know I love a good Ninja story, and this one may seriously take the cake.

A 27-year-old German medical student was attacked by three thugs that followed him off of the train. They continued their pursuit down the Kingswood alley, waiting for the right moment to steal/pillage/rape/whatever thugs do to innocent dudes.

A mistake on their part….the alley runs behind the Ninja Senshi Ryu warrior school. A student saw the potential threat and went to get his teacher and three other students. The four ninja warriors approached the thugs and their German snack. The teacher said “We looked around to see what was happening and there were three blokes on this guy just kicking him and punching him in the head.”

HHHiiiiyyAAHH! The ninja warriors charged the thugs, and they ran, as any smart man would from five fully dressed ninjas. “I think they’re probably still running if I’m not mistaken,” added the teachers.

Police charged a 16-year-old boy and a 20-year-old man with robbery in company over the assault, and are still looking for a third male, aged 15-17.

either way, it’s made with “the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.”
bettermarriageblanket.com

A NH woman was arrested last week for posession of a weapon and five little pink baggies of marijuana.
How they found out she had these items, though, is what gives her the Darwin award this week.

The cops responded to an altercation at a Mattapan gas station. At about 3 am, the on-call officers heard the shouting and responded. Catriona Kaye, 28, told the officers that the fight was because the man was demanding she hand over a bag of marijuana. The East Rochester, N.H. woman proceeded to volunteer that she had a stun gun in her vehicle. (They checked, she did. The Powermax, which uses 500,000 volts of electricity.) Kaye was arrested for possession of an electrical weapon.
And does it end there? OF COURSE NOT!

While on the way to the station, she asked the officers: “Are you going to search the car? Because I think I have weed in there.”
5 bags of it, in fact. And another bag in her bra.

Not sure what to do with all those frequent flier miles?  Trade  them in to get hotels when your house is foreclosed!

Sound wacky?  Not too wacky for Jim Kennedy, a 46-yr-old exec from Newport Beach.  He lost his job over 2  years ago, and when his  unemployment dried up his house was taken, leaving the man homeless and penniless.

Skip Nail | Photodisc | Getty Images

But he’s a resourceful chap. The ex-corporate-development manager took his bankrupt ass to a variety of free breakfast hotels and motels with his over one million frequent-flier miles and rewards points he accrued in his career.

Dude may be poor, but he’s not giving up the luxury items  he loves: He still drives a leased BMW, but tries to keep his food budget to $5 a day. Ah, priorities..

Kennedy estimates his million miles will stretch about five months, according to reports.

You can follow Kennedy on Twitter at @HomelessThomOC.

So I chose not to write about this yesterday not out of disinterest but sheer laziness.
The story is, more or less, as follows:
The Orca, Tilikum, DURING A SHOW at Sea World, pushed in his trainer and drowned her. Why, you ask?
THIS IS HOW ORCAS KILL THEIR PREY. They do it to sharks, they do it to OTHER WHALES, why not do it to your loving trainer?
Its in their nature. They are not vegetarians. They are the meanest animals on the planet (next to the other adorable killer, the polar bear). He coulda done it when no one was watching, though…talk about PR nightmare (mommy, whys the water turning red?)

This was not Tilikum’s first attack. Or second. THREE DEATHS! Won’t they just put him down already? [Protecting the animal, her sister: "Dawn loved the whales like her children, she loved all of them. They all had personalities, good days and bad days." ]

for the technical answers as to why killer whales act out in captivity: scientific american