Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

Google Romance
so somehow i missed this 4/1 joke site. but it may be their best ever.

Romance help
Pin All Your Romantic Hopes on Google

When you think about it, love is just another search problem. And we’ve thought about it. A lot. Google Romance™ is our solution.

Google Romance is a place where you can post all types of romantic information and, using our Soulmate Search™, get back search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then we’ll send you both on a Contextual DateTM, which we’ll pay for while delivering to you relevant ads that we and our advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you’re looking for.

With Google Romance, you can:

* Upload your profile – tell the world who you are, or, more to the point, who you’d like to think you are, or, even more to the point, who you want others to think you are.
* Search for love in all (or at least a statistically significant majority of) the right places with Soulmate Search, our eerily effective psychographic matchmaking software.
* Endure, via our Contextual Dating option, thematically appropriate multimedia advertising throughout the entirety of your free date.
really! google.com/romance

PHILADELPHIA (CBS 3) ― Southwest Detectives are going door to door trying to get information about a robbery and assault that left a 100-year-old man beaten to the ground.

According to police, the disturbing attack happened in broad daylight on the 6700 block of Grovers Avenue in Southwest Philadelphia.

“He placed his hands around his neck, threw him to the ground and began striking his head against the cement sidewalk,” said Lt. John Walker. “He took the man’s groceries and $30 out of his pocket and fled on foot.”

Though suffering bleeding in the brain, authorities say the man will have a full recovery.

A strip club isn’t the only place in town you can see a pole dance — amazed passengers on an L train watched in awe as a naked young woman competed with straphangers for space on a pole.
That show, as well as others along various metro lines, were the creation of photographer Zach Hyman, 22.
The photographer and his volunteer models don’t spend much time on location. The model quickly disrobes and Hyman gives himself only 30 seconds to fire off 10 shots with his Hasselblad 500 film camera.

Alex Reisner, a 20-year-old Columbia student, had a very appreciative audience when she disrobed in Chinatown.
When Hyman snapped her jumping in the air in the middle of the street, the crowd burst into applause.
“There was so much adrenaline,” she said. “I was bouncing around for the rest of the day. I told him I want to pose nude every weekend.”

Hyman noted that “photographing females in public is easier than males.

“People see a naked woman and they smile,” he said. “They see a penis and they freak out.”

dude’s name is HYMEN.

NBC New York - A troubled Bronx teen in a zombie-like trance stabbed his two younger brothers and sister yesterday – and was prevented from murdering them by a Good Samaritan, authorities said.

Cops say 17-year-old Nelson Santos lost it at about 3:30 p.m. and attacked his two brothers, ages 13 and 6, and his 9-year-old sister, with a knife in their second-floor apartment in Morrisania.

A police source told the paper the boy said he was seeing demons and neighbors said he practiced black magic.

Drenched in his own blood, 13-year-old Miguel Santos, who was stabbed nearly half a dozen times, dashed out of his living room and downstairs to call for help. Neighbor John Flores, 19, told the News Nelson Santos was screaming something about the Armageddon and chasing his younger brother with “a big kitchen knife about as long as my forearm.”

The hero neighbor wrestled with Santos as he tried to stop them; his mother, Delila, was able to grab the butcher knife out of his clutches, according to the paper.
Though seriously injured, all survived the attack.

ST. CHARLES COUNTY, MO — Danny Bampton, only 9 years old, died after attempting to save an injured duck in the road. His mother pulled their car over Wednesday and let him out to pick up the duck when he was hit by a Subaru going in the opposite direction.

The accident was…accidental.

Danny was scheduled to start the fourth grade Monday at the St. Joseph School in Josephville.

USVI not canada St. John:
The only mammal native to St. John is the bat

NEW JERSEY (AP-MyWayNews)- Bob Dylan was taking a walk in Long Branch, NY, when police approached him for wandering through a low-income neighborhood. The 24-yr-old arresting officer asked for identification, which he gave over (though I’m sure not without the line “do you konw who I am?). the officer was not familiar with his works.

Dylan is currently on tour with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp.

just becuase it’s funny:
“What is your name, sir?” the officer asked.
“Bob Dylan,” Dylan said.
“OK, what are you doing here?” the officer asked.
“I’m on tour,” the singer replied.

A second officer, also in his 20s, responded to assist the first officer. He, too, apparently was unfamiliar with Dylan.

from wikitravel:
However it is wise to avoid the subway in Glasgow on any football match day, especially if you get travel sick easily, as many football fans like to partake in an activity known as “The Bouncy Bouncy” where up to 100 football fans bounce up and down at the same time, causing the tiny carriages to rock and rise to the peak of their suspension.

SANTA ANA, Calif. — There was a riot in a California prison as fears escalated over the affect of prison budget cuts nearing $1.2 billion. Inmates at the Chino prison tore doors from their hinges, broke toilets and sinks in a brawl that left 175 injured. The fight appears to have been racially motivated.

The prison is home to 5,900, but was built for a capacity of only 3,000.

A national expert warned of the riot danger at the prison in a Nov. 9, 2007, report. A unit at that time had two guards overseeing 198 inmates, many of whom were in locations where they couldn’t be easily observed.
“If the prisoners wanted to take over the dorm they could do so in a second and no one would know,” Wayne Scott, former director of the Texas Department of Corrections, wrote after touring Cleveland Hall within the prison’s West Facility, where Saturday’s riot happened.

KATMANDU, Nepal – The world’s smallest deer, a flying frog and catfish that stick to rocks — as well as more than 350 other species — have been discovered over the past decade in the Himalayas, making it one of the world’s most biologically rich regions, an environmental group said Monday.

The group found that almost three-quarters of the discoveries between 1998 and 2008 were plants, including 21 new orchid species. But it also listed 16 amphibians, 16 reptiles, 14 fish, two birds, two mammals and at least 60 new invertebrates. Most of the discoveries have already been reported in peer-reviewed, scientific journals.

Among the most exciting was the miniature muntjac, the world’s smallest deer species — standing just 60-80 centimeters (25-30 inches) tall and weighing about 24 pounds (11 kilograms). Scientists at first believed the animal found in northern Myanmar was a juvenile of another species, but DNA tests confirmed it was distinct.

“It is astonishing to observe that a large number of new species of flora and fauna are discovered even today in the Himalayas,” Nepal’s forest and soil conservation minister, Deepak Bohara, said at the release of the report in Katmandu.