Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

A Swedish flasher wants a local greengrocer to change its name after finding himself overcome with the urge to masturbate every time he spots the store’s name - Willy’s.

Mats Fagerholm, 35, told police: “It’s bad enough with all the cucumbers and other vegetables on display, but then when I see the store’s name I just can’t help myself. It’s not my fault.”

The man made the plea to cops after finally being arrested outside a Willy’s store in Orebro, southern Sweden.

A police spokesman said: “We have had several reports giving a clear description of the man - he’s a serial exhibitionist. In all the complaints we received he was always in the entrance to the store.”

One witness said: “He was masturbating shamelessly, I called police and by the time they arrived he had ridden off on a bicycle.”

Because of the numerous complaints police were ready to act quickly the next time there was a call and arrested him when he was spotted at one of the grocery chain’s stores.

He now faces public indecency charges.

TOKYO (AP) - The Keihin Express Railway Co. has added an element to their dress code: the smile.
Each morning upon entering work, employees stand before a camera in Shinagawa Station and smile. They are not allowed to work until passing the test. Well I made that up. The test is optional. But it’s still ridiculous.

“Smiling helps our interaction with the passengers. I think the atmosphere becomes more relaxing with a smile,” says one worker, whose job includes helping lost customers find their way and dealing with ticketing mishaps.

BRUSSELS (AP) - 3 inmates made a dramatic escape in Belgium this week… After hijacking a helicopter and forcing the pilot to fly into the prison yard, the 3 men got in and flew from their concrete hell.
The accomplice led the pilot to a field near Bruges where the 4 stole a Mercedes. Police have found no trace of the car or the men inside. One of those men is Ashraf Sekkaki, a 26-yr-old bank robber and one of the most dangerous criminals in Belgium. This is his second prison escape.

3 people have been arrested for allowing rats bite the toes off of a six-week-old girl. It goes without saying that the 4 happily reside in a trailer. In Piketon, known for its uranium enrichment plant. Classy.

Pike County prosecutor Rob Junk says the baby’s toes on one foot were gone when sheriff’s deputies went to the home Sunday after receiving an anonymous tip. The baby is currently in fair condition at a Columbus hospital.

Those charged: married couple and 18-yr-old baby daddy.
The charges: felony child endangering.
No charges have been brought against the mother to date.

CAMDEN, N.J. (CBS 3) ― A 10-year-old boy is facing charges for robbing an 11-year-old at gunpoint in Camden. The suspect is accused of stealing a skateboard from his victim.

“What we’ve seen is this constant demand for attention. And maybe it’s the mother in me or the experience that I’ve had with small children and unruly teenagers and people who are demanding attention — don’t give it to them, they don’t deserve it, they are acting out,” she said.

San Francisco- Almost everyone knows about SF Zoo’s gay penguins, Harry and Pepper. If you’re one of the out crowd, they are Magellanic penguins. They hatch a surrogate egg together, they nest together, they have anal sex. You know…gays.
All of that changed this week, though, when their next door neighbor became a widow penguin. It did not take long for Harry to leave his partner for the little slut.
“Whenever there’s a single bird on the island, there’s always a mad dash to find another mate or lose their burrow,” said Harrison Edell, curator of birds. Looks like Linda’s keeping her home.

the best part, quoted from the WCBS website:
Pepper ventured in their burrow a few times in the three weeks after the breakup, prompting a temporary monthlong trip to the Avian Conservation Center on zoo grounds to chill out. A few other bachelor penguins, which were also looking for love and causing trouble, were sent to the center to calm down. No sparks flew between Pepper and the exiled bachelors, but the vacation seemed to help get Harry out of his system. [no word on whether he ate pint after pint of ben and jerrys, though my speculation is YES]

Vancouver, BC (MSNBC)- A 3-yr-old birthday boy took a special joyride in his new toy truck….he floated almost 8 miles downriver before being stopped by authorities.

The boy’s family was camping near Fort St. John, in northeastern British Columbia, Sunday when the boy wandered off unnoticed and pushed his truck into the Peace River, Royal Canadian Mounted Police said Monday.
The boy and his truck were found 7.8 miles away after a 2-hour “boat” ride. The boy was uninjured.

EPPING (Union Leader)– Police took the unusual step last Sunday of seizing a barking dog from a Camp Lee Road residence after neighbors got fed up and complained.

Epping police Sgt. Jason Newman said the dog was removed by police because it had been barking much of the day outside the residence while owner Lorraine Neal was away. When Officer Bradley Jardis was unable to locate Neal, the dog was taken to the New Hampshire Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Stratham until she returned home and retrieved the dog.

Though it was a first offense, Neal was cited yesterday for her barking dog and will now have to go before a judge, who will decide whether she should be fined. Neal did not return a phone call seeking comment yesterday.

According to state law, a dog can be considered a “nuisance” if it barks for sustained periods of more than 30 minutes or during the night hours, disturbing the peace and quiet of a neighborhood. The law exempts dogs used for guarding, working or herding livestock.

The barking can lead to fines of $25 for the first offense and $100 for a second or subsequent offense in the same 12-month period.

Alexa Longueira, a 15-yr-old high school sophomore, was walking along Victory Boulevard near Travis Avenue on Staten Island Wednesday evening when she felt the earth move and was plunged into smelly darkness.

She said the manhole she fell in to was left open and unattended with no warning signs or orange cones. She said two workers with the New York City Department of Environmental Protection failed to secure the area as they prepared to flush the sewer.

“It was just really gross and it was shocking and scary,” she said. “Because of their careless mistake I got hurt.”

Longueira has deep cuts and bruises and said she now has nightmares about falling, But she also did admit she was texting at the time.

“Regardless of whether I’m texting or not if there was a cone there I’m going to see a big orange cone,” she said. “I walk that sidewalk every day, I don’t expect a big hole there.”

Longueira said she was helped out of the five-foot deep sewer by an apologetic DEP worker.

Alexa lost one of her sneakers in the sewer. She does not want it back.