Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

CENTERVILLE, UTAH — A teenager suspected of car burglary was so surprised when he opened a car door to find a police officer sitting inside that he messed his pants, police said.

It happened about 1 a.m. Saturday as Salt Lake County sheriff’s deputy Chad Taylor was returning to his Centerville home from working a shift.

“Right as his hand goes to check my handle, I kick the door open,” Taylor said. “I said, ‘You’d better stop right there! Police!’ I’m not kidding, it was quiet as can be, and I heard …”

The 16-year-old boy turned and ran, chased by Taylor, who called 911 as he ran after the teen through the neighborhood. The boy was scrambling so fast, Taylor said, he lost his shoes. Centerville police responded to help catch the teen.

“One officer spotted him with night-vision goggles going into a house,” Centerville Police Lt. Paul Child said.

LOUDOUN,VA — Behind the wheel, you want the least amount of distraction possible. Right?  Not entirely, says the city of Loudoun, Virgina, who is painting the town white in an attempt to slow down drivers.

The Virginia Department of Transportation is trying to get drivers to slow down in a high pedestrian and bicycle area. The 500 feet of zig-zagging lines are painted on the ground on Belmont Ridge Road, where it intersects with the Washington and Old Dominion trail in Loudoun County.

If the lines prove effective, you can expect to see more of them on the gro

We’ve heard it all:  hairspray, littering, cell phones, tvs, but scientists have blamed global warming on a new item: FAT ASSHOLES.

Because to satiate a world of fattie pig fatties we must increase food production,  we are eating through Earth’s bountiful resources while raping the skies with factory emissions.

Overweight people are also more likely to drive, adding to environmental damage.

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of overweight people.

Obama writes back to a man who urges him to stop smoking for the sake of his girls.  The author’s own father died after years of being a 3-pack-a-day smoker.  Obama reads 1 in 10 letters written to him daily.

TREEHUGGER.COM-  Of children 6-11, 1 in three fears that Earth will cease to exist by the time they reach adulthood.  56% believe that even if it is still here, they won’t want to be on it.

Commissioned by Habitat Heroes and conducted by Opinion Research, the telephone survey polled a national sample of 500 American preteens—250 males and 250 females.

On a sliding scale of anxieties, minority kids have it worst; 75 percent of black children and 65 percent of Hispanic children believe that the planet will be irrevocably damaged by the time they reach adulthood.

A staggering 95 percent of the children surveyed said their parents pitched in by recycling, using rechargeable batteries, and conserving water and electricity.

Other interesting findings

• 50 percent say that hurricanes and tornadoes are the natural disasters that scare them the most.
• 28 percent say that they fear animals, such as polar bears and penguins, will become extinct and disappear from the planet more than any other environmental concern.

Girls worry more

• 67 percent of girls ages 9-11 versus 60 percent of boys ages 9-11 worry that the earth won’t be as good a place to live when they’re adults.
• 57% of girls ages 6-8 versus 43 percent of boys ages 6-8 worry that the earth won’t be as good a place to live when they’re adults.

Urban kids are more anxious than suburban kids

• 59 percent of kids in metro areas are more concerned that the Earth won’t be as good a place to live when they grow up compared to non-metro kids (47 percent).

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A U.S. Border Patrol agent who tried to import rare tortoises in a box labeled “scorpions” pleaded guilty on Tuesday to animal-trafficking charges, the Justice Department said.

It turns out that scorpions also draw an extra look from federal agents.
His sentence will be max 1 year.

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish politician, outraged by the acquisition by his zoo of a gay elephant, has this quote of the day:

“We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys ($11 million) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there,” said Michal Grzes, a conservative councilor in the city of Poznan in western Poland.

“We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?” said Grzes, who is from the right-wing opposition Law and Justice party.

Diretly from MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian karate expert has been charged with beating to death a 61-year-old woman and her son, whom he accused of infecting his wife with lice, an investigator said Friday.

The drunk 26-year-old burst into a neighboring room in his hostel Tuesday and used karate moves to kill the pair, state investigator Eduard Abdullin said by telephone from Kazan, a city 700 km (430 miles) east of Moscow.

“He literally beat them to death with his hands and feet,” Abdullin said. “The family were poor and drank a lot. He blamed them for infecting his wife and the entire corridor with lice.”

The 58-year-old husband of the dead woman was also badly beaten, but survived.

The suspect, who studied karate for seven years, faces life in prison if convicted, Abdullin added.

no joke.  Sharing her lady with WGN-TV hosts, Michelle uses Ingrid Grimes-Miles, 49 to keep those crows feet in check.

“It took Laura Bush four years to finally look good. It’s taken Michelle Obama two months. She wears fake eyelashes that are beautiful. She can’t do those herself,” said hairdresser Bernard Portelli (who worked with Hillz), adding htat Michelle is the first woman to have a full-time make-up artist.