Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

Italy, a nation full of people that love their country, is trying something no state has before. The Italian government has teamed up with McDonalds to create the McITALY. This pridefully patriotic burger is made with all Italian ingredients, and the colors are that of the Italian flag (don’t know where brown fits in, perhaps it’s assumed that the flag is shit, anyways.)

“We’re out to defend our identity and the ‘Made in Italy’ trademark,” Agriculture Minister Luca Zaia said in a statement, adding that they were trying to “promote the taste of Italy,” by giving an “imprint of Italian flavors to our youngsters,” he said.
What that means is: “we want to take the fun out of eating cheeseburgers.”

The burger comes with a choice of artichoke spread and Asiago cheese or onion, lettuce and smoked pancetta. Bring on the WORST red and green flavors to mix with a BURGER ever.

Yum, eat up!

Ever wonder if its true that “they” smuggle drugs into Europe by shoving bags of heroin up unsuspecting teddy bears asses?

Turns out, its not.  They use bananas.  Madrid police found over 25 KILOS of heroin hidden in plantains headed for the Lidl supermarket chain.

El Mundo reports that the worker who uncovered a brick of smack in a crate of plantains called police, who found 25 other bricks in that and other Lidl branches.

The fruits had come from the Ivory Coast and Ecuador.

Rome (Reuters)-  Italians are known for their big, drunk, annoying families.  But one man took avoiding them to whole new levels this New Years, when he chose a jail sentence over some Quality Time with the fam.

The man, 35 years too old for this sort of shit, stole a bunch of candy to avoid his wife and relatives. He first went to the police station requesting to spend the night in jail, but as he committed no crime, they told him to get out. Where did he go?
Just next door, where he threatened the shop owner with a box cutter whilst filling his pockets with candy. The police didn’t take long to arrive. No word on whether or not he’s still grounded.

from wikitravel:
However it is wise to avoid the subway in Glasgow on any football match day, especially if you get travel sick easily, as many football fans like to partake in an activity known as “The Bouncy Bouncy” where up to 100 football fans bounce up and down at the same time, causing the tiny carriages to rock and rise to the peak of their suspension.

A Swedish flasher wants a local greengrocer to change its name after finding himself overcome with the urge to masturbate every time he spots the store’s name - Willy’s.

Mats Fagerholm, 35, told police: “It’s bad enough with all the cucumbers and other vegetables on display, but then when I see the store’s name I just can’t help myself. It’s not my fault.”

The man made the plea to cops after finally being arrested outside a Willy’s store in Orebro, southern Sweden.

A police spokesman said: “We have had several reports giving a clear description of the man - he’s a serial exhibitionist. In all the complaints we received he was always in the entrance to the store.”

One witness said: “He was masturbating shamelessly, I called police and by the time they arrived he had ridden off on a bicycle.”

Because of the numerous complaints police were ready to act quickly the next time there was a call and arrested him when he was spotted at one of the grocery chain’s stores.

He now faces public indecency charges.

Due to its deep ties with organized crime, Putin has closed all Russian gambling fascilities.
’nuff said.

ZURICH (Reuters) – A car traveling on a motorway in Switzerland lost all four wheels simultaneously, coming to an immediate halt in the middle of the highway, police said on Saturday.

The car had just stopped and the passengers had changed from winter to summer wheels themselves, a common task in Switzerland where there is plenty of snow in winter, but used the wrong nuts when mounting the new set.

“When they then drove back on to the motorway, all of the wheels disconnected,” St Gallen cantonal police said in a statement. “Luckily, no one was injured and no other vehicle was damaged.”

Airport officials in Berlin detained pro-Western Ukrainian Interior Minister Yuri Lutsenko because of drunken and disorderly conduct, and prevented he and his 19-yr-old son-cum-drinking buddy from boarding their flight to Seoul..

When they were stopped, both passengers flew into a rage, shouted and threw their mobile telephones, police said.

Three male and one female police officers were hurt in the altercation, the police spokesman said, describing the incident as an “ugly situation.”

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish politician, outraged by the acquisition by his zoo of a gay elephant, has this quote of the day:

“We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys ($11 million) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there,” said Michal Grzes, a conservative councilor in the city of Poznan in western Poland.

“We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?” said Grzes, who is from the right-wing opposition Law and Justice party.

BERLIN (Reuters) - The skeleton of a German retiree who tied himself to the top of a tree and shot himself to death nearly 30 years ago has been found by a hiker.

German police in the southern town of Landshut said on Monday the 69-year-old man disappeared in 1980 and had been classified as missing.

An 18-year-old hiker discovered a bone in the forest last week and brought it to police. They searched the area and spotted the skeleton hanging about 11 meters up, near the top of the spruce tree.

“After searching the area we found the skeleton up in the tree with the pistol hanging on a rope next to it,” police spokesman Leonard Mayer said. Police were able to identify the man through DNA testing and an artificial hip.