Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

Our proud parents of the day got high on meth and then let little Timmy toddle his way into the walls. Then they laughed until their scars hurt.

STANLEY, N.C. — Two 19-year old parents stand to face child abuse charges after recording their blindfolded son running into walls.
The video shows the “parents” blindfolding their 11-month-old son and watching him fall on his face and run into walls.

Burgess told NewsChannel 36 on Thursday that the video looks worse than it was. She said her son was not injured and the family was just having fun.
Delmer Frank James Doss and Amber Lynn Burgess are out on bond. The child remains in Burgess’ care.

WILKES-BARRE, Pa. (AP) ―After having a friend DIE on their couch, two young 20-somethings stole the woman’s credit card and rang up over $1,000 in charges.

Michael Wheaton, 25, and Sabrina Tomcho, 20, have been charged for fraudulent banking activity. Police believe the couple stole the card while emergency medical technicians tried to revive 40-year-old Kimberly Rose Lacey.

ZAMIBIA - One thing President Rupiah Banda was not expecting while giving a speech outside the State House yesterday: getting peed on. Yet that’s EXACTLY what happened.

“You have urinated on my jacket,” a startled Banda told the monkey, one of many that makes their home in the trees outside his offices.
“I will give this monkey for lunch to Mr Sata,” he joked, referring to opposition leader Michael Sata, who Banda defeated in last year’s elections.

An angry drive-up customer unable to get a Big Mac has been arrested for shooting at the window.  At about 2 a.m, the driver pulled in to a McD’s in Salt Lake city to order food from the dinner menu.  He was told that they were only serving breakfast.  Deeming this an unacceptable option, the female driver drove to the second window.

Two men got out of hte car, one with a sawed-off shotgun.  He fired once or twice into the window, hopped back into the car, and they drove off.

The shooter was described as Polynesian, 6 feet 1 inch tall, with long hair in a ponytail, a beanie cap and a white T-shirt, police said.

No one was injured in the shooting.

ABUJA (Reuters) -Redefining Africa as a safe, tourist-friendly place is no easy task, but Nigeria is taking a stab at it.  Their new slogan can be found emblazoned on T-shirts and hats, all in hopes of restoring self-confidence in the people.

In an attempt to overturn its reputation, garnered through years of poverty, drug trafficing, e-mail scams, and corruption, they have approved THIS slogan: “Nigeria: Good People, Great Nation.”

“At international airports, in trains, in shopping malls, and almost everywhere, every Nigerian is a marked person,” Dora Akunyili, information minister and self-styled chief image maker said at the launch of the re-branding campaign this week.

“We are pulled aside for questioning. We are seen as potential drug pushers or fraudsters. We are unfortunately denied the benefit of the doubt,” she said.

Though some Nigerians wear their country’s reputation for mayhem and chaos as a mark of pride — if you can survive Nigeria, you can survive anywhere.

1. What’s the most memorable sexual experience you’ve ever had?
Bob Saget: I shouldn’t say this in print, but it was years ago with one of the winners of America’s Funniest Home Videos. “Jacuzzi Dog.”

2. Ever have sex in a public place? Where?
Banks: In the 10 items or less aisle in the 99 Cent Store. I was so excited I’d spent less than $10 for 10 items that I had an orgasm.

3. How old were you when you lost your virginity and what were the circumstances?
Saget: Forty-five. I was alone at a park in Beverly Hills riding a teeter-totter, and I think my hymen snapped.

4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with?
Saget: The pig who played Babe.

5. What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?
Saget: Am I wrong, is it just me, or are these questions a bit personal?

6. What do you consider the funniest sexual act, and why?
Saget: Having sex with a dentist on nitrous oxide.

7. Ever had sex in an airplane?
Saget: Yes. In the cockpit.

8. Ever had sex with a groupie or fan?
Saget: No. But once with a group of fans. I threw myself into the mosh pit and they 12-teamed me. I felt cheaper by the dozen.

9. Do you have any nicknames for your penis?
Saget: Yes. Ten thousand of them. My favorite is George.

12. Are you good in bed?
Saget: At what?

13. What’s your favorite sexual act?
Saget: Cirque du Soleil.

16. What’s your favorite part of the female anatomy?
Saget: The mind.

20. What’s better than sex?
Saget: Diet Peach Snapple.

21. Do you like to talk dirty while making love?
Saget: Yes, but in Aramaic.

22. What’s the best time of day or night to have sex?
Saget: 2:30.

23. What music do you like to listen to during sex?
Saget: The background music from 1 vs. 100.

24. Why?
Saget: Because it adds more drama.
[playboy.]

TIKRIT, Iraq (Reuters) - An Iraqi town has unveiled a giant monument of a shoe in honor of the journalist who threw his footwear at former U.S. President George W. Bush.

The two-meter (six-foot) high statue, unveiled on Thursday in former dictator Saddam Hussein’s home town of Tikrit, depicts a bronze-colored shoe, filled with a plastic shrub. “Muntazer: fasting until the sword breaks its fast with blood; silent until our mouths speak the truth,” reads an inscription, in honor of journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, who hurled his shoes at Bush and called him a “dog” at a news conference during the former president’s final visit to Iraq.

Fatin Abdul Qader, head of an orphanage and children’s organization in the town, said the one-and-a-half-tonne monument by artist Laith al-Amiri was titled “statue of glory and generosity.”

“This statue is the least expression of our appreciation for Muntazer al-Zaidi, because Iraqi hearts were comforted by his throw,” she said.

VERO BEACH, Fla. — A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff’s Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face. The pair got out of the car, and authorities say the man again took the McDonald’s sandwich and put it on her face.

The man was released on $1,000 bond Wednesday.

from cs monitor:

Debbie Rijvers from The Netherlands is seen in front of a painting of a young girl with red hair during Redhead Day, in Breda, Netherlands. Organizers said the day was intended to celebrate the relatively rare hair type, found in 1-2 percent of humans globally. The celebration was expected to draw 2,500 redheads from around the world and feature lectures, workshops, and a picnic.

Starting today, water will no longer be free on US Air’s domestic flights.
Charging even more than Fiji at CVS, the crappy airline water will be 2 bucks. Same goes for soda. Cheapskate? Go for the coffee or tea. That’s only $1.

Currently, American, Delta, JetBlue, Southwest and Northwest all say they will not charge for drinks [insert looming YET]

Continental - the last hold-out with free meals (maybe I hate them a little less) has no intention of abandoning complimentary drinks, either.

Continental, shockingly the ones that get it, says charging for a soda would detract from passenger comfort. “That’s always been our philosophy, and it’s one that works well with us,” says spokeswoman Julie King. [I would like to remind Julie of my 5 hour late flight that caused me a grueling day in Reagan Intnl at this point]

US Airways says it will provide water and drinks for passengers in cases of medical emergency and during extensive delays. If a desperately thirsty passenger does forget a few extra dollars, US Airways spokesman Morgan Durrant says flight attendants will likely “err on the side of the customer” and give him or her water. After all, the airline wouldn’t want its customers drinking tap water from the aircraft bathroom. Though safe to drink, “Frankly, that’s just not classy,” he says.