Strange & Stupid: Amusing News

Portland, Oregon reigns when it comes to homebrews, yet there are still some people trying to make their mark in the already saturated market. The 80 men that set to work this weekend may just have the trick: strange, strange ingredients.

A well known homebrewer by the name Michael Brown teaches classes at F.H. Steinbart, my kinda supply store. They are free, and people make the sweetest concotions.
“By brewing your own, you can make just the beer you want,” Brown said. “When was the last time you saw an ordinary bitter on tap in a pub? When did you last see a 60-shilling Scottish ale or a peanut butter porter?”

He knows odd brews because he’s made beers with ingredients such as ham and cheese; Bac-O-Bits; peanut butter and chocolate; and Nutella. His CXI Pumpernickel Ale is the 11th anniversary Widmer/ Oregon Brew Crew Collaborator beer, and yes, pumpernickel bread is an ingredient.

I WANT PEANUT BUTTER BEER! (I could do without the bacos, I think, though I’ve heard good things about the bacon martini)

HILLSBORO, Ore. — A pack of angry bowlers chased down and tackled a purse snatcher last week.

The ruckus at Hillsboro’s Park Lanes Bowling Alley began when a teenager stole two purses belonging to senior bowlers. Dean Johnson, the owner and manager of the bowling alley, said he was caught off guard Wednesday by the sight of a group of senior bowlers running toward the front entrance.

“All of a sudden, they all just stopped bowling and started chasing this kid and yelling, ‘Purse snatcher, purse snatcher,’” Johnson said.

But the thief’s getaway came to a grinding halt when he had to wait for the bowling alley’s automatic sliding doors to open. Johnson said the doors open slowly, giving his grown son more time to catch up and tackle the teenager.

Two bowlers piled on top of the thief and held him until police arrived.
“You don’t mess around with senior bowlers,” Johnson said. “That’s the key here.”

After the excitement died down, it was back to business and the group returned to bowling.

Dude arrested for doing what we all dream of.  NYC prosecutors are filing criminal charges against a fed up air traveler.  After hours on the tarmac, Robert MacDonald, 60, tried to open the emergency door to let himself out.  The Brit faces reckless endangerment charges.  I want to give him a medal.

Joys Green, England- Singlehandedly, Yvonne Froud has changed the streets of her village. The 52-yr-old was fed up with the candy wrappers littering her streets.   Clearly, she had only one option.

She used black permanent makers to write the first and last name of the child customer on each candy wrapper, chip bag, and soda bottle that the little tyrants purchased.

What happened?  Litter is down 40% (however you gauge that one).

“I was so disgusted by the litter I had to do something about it,” she told the Daily Mail.  “Now if we find packets around the village we know who they belong to.  I will do it with adults if they start littering, too.”

Joys Green is a village in Gloucestershire, pop. hovering around 400.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York funeral director is offering a free funeral to who ever will undertake a construction job at his Manhattan home.

“It may sound like a laughable barter transaction, but consider the average cost of paying for a funeral. … Ask someone that recently had a funeral what they paid!!!” wrote funeral director Peter Dohanich, 51, in a listing posted on Craigslist last week.

Dohanich said he is looking for a builder or contractor to do some remodeling for a new patio but did not have the cash on hand for the project. “Someone told me, if you’re looking for services, look on barter,” Dohanich said.

So far, Dohanich said he has gotten a few calls from prospective takers but has not yet filled the job.

The average cost of a funeral in the United States is about $7,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association, which said it was not aware of any precedent for bartering funeral services. That makes this a fairly even exchange, with work expected to cost $6-10,000.

A Manchester United fan has recreated Wembley Stadium in his front room because he failed to get tickets to see the team in the Carling Cup final.

Phil Spark’s Didsbury home now has a turnstile on the door, fake turf on the floor, stadium seats, crowd pictures on the walls and a pie heater.
The 25-year-old and his friends will watch Sunday’s game against Tottenham on a big screen in the mock stadium.

He said: “This is the next best thing to being there.
“I was gutted when I couldn’t get a ticket for the game but I’ve spent the last few weeks making sure I won’t miss any of the action or atmosphere,” Mr Sparks, a surveyor, said.

“I may even charge my mates to come round for the best view in Didsbury.”

ROME (Reuters) - A rare Christmas treat this year for hobos in Milan: choice beluga caviar confiscated from traffickers.

Italian police seized over 40 kg (88 lb) of the delicacy, worth some 400,000 euros ($558,300), from two men who last month smuggled it into the country from Poland for sale in the shops of Milan and the rest of the wealthy Lombardy region.

The head of the local forest police who carried out the raid kept the bounty in barrack fridges for several weeks, but realized it would soon go bad.

“Tests showed us the food was still perfectly OK to eat but it couldn’t be stored much longer, so we decided to give it to the poor,” Juri Mantegazza told Milan daily Corriere della Sera.

“Everything that comes our way is very welcome, even though most of our guests don’t even know what those little black balls are,” said Virginio Colmega, a priest who helps run the House of Charity in Milan.

VERO BEACH, Fla. — A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff’s Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face. The pair got out of the car, and authorities say the man again took the McDonald’s sandwich and put it on her face.

The man was released on $1,000 bond Wednesday.

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian right-wing party is offering 1,500 euros ($1,930)[when did the euro fall so hard?] to parents who name their babies after wartime fascist dictator Benito Mussolini or his wife Rachele, saying their names are under threat.

The MSI-Fiamma Tricolore party, the descendant of Mussolini’s fascist party, said the initiative in the poor, southern region of Basilicata was meant to keep alive names “at risk of extinction” and pay tribute to the movement’s roots.

“Benito and Rachele are nice names and I hope our original initiative will get people going,” party official Vincenzo Mancusi told Reuters.

The bonus — intended to pay for baby clothes and food — applies to babies born in 2009 in five villages where the birth rate is especially low, Mancusi said.

Mussolini ruled from 1922 to 1943 when he was ousted after leading Italy to ruin by entering World War Two as an ally of Germany. He was executed along with his mistress Claretta Petacci in 1945. His widow Rachele died in 1979.